I will breathe more...

One more bit of inspiration from Tyler Knott Gregson, the beginning of this piece struck me as a series of healthy reminders to myself.  There's so much more motivation to be had in saying "I will" instead of "I won't."

I will breathe more, but be more thankful for all of those who
are capable of stealing it. I will listen more, and absorb the
words being said with a clear heart, and a mind that is not
conjuring up my responses. I will hope, more hope for more
things that seem hopeless.

What will you do - to take care of yourself, to bring peace into your life and calm to your soul?  Here are some ideas from my personal list of wills:

I will be more present and grateful in opportunities for rest.
I will respect my mind, my body, and my soul, and cherish every flaw that makes them my own.
I will breathe intention into every creative project and practice being more confident in my abilities.
I will make time to celebrate my successes - even the small ones.
I will say yes to what's good and healing, instead of appealing to shoulds.
I will remember to love myself unconditionally, as I love those kept close in my heart.
I will learn my truth more and more each day, and I will speak it, and I will live it.
And I will know that I am enough.

* Poem from Wildly into the Dark

Patience, patience indeed

Photo: Ana Silva

Photo: Ana Silva

Here's another piece from Tyler Knott Gregson's Wildly into the Dark that sparked the inner author of my love letters to self.  

Oh tender heart, oh sweet
and unsettled soul, patience,
patience indeed. Long has there lived
an aching inside, a throbbing
dull and constant, a pull to
all that comes after this,
across the darker waters,
the beauty beyond.
It will come, and you to it,
and the heaving of the hull
of you will settle;
you will sail.
— Tyler Knott Gregson

Play around with inhabiting this poem, imagining a serene, confident, and deeply loving you saying the words to the part of yourself who lives in fear of not being enough.  Notice what it feels like to be your own hero or heroine.  It doesn't matter what that person looks like, what material goods or social status they have achieved, or - goodness knows - how well their social media feed is curated.

What matters is the words, and the voice that's already within you. Now, feed it. 

For the thousand moments waiting

Photo: Annie Spratt

Photo: Annie Spratt

Will I have taken these for granted, these moments,
this life?  Will I reach the next beginning, and
carry regret into the new light, the first light?
I was gifted a million opportunities to appreciate
this blink of an existence,
I will promise myself until these knees are bloodied
and my tongue is swollen, that I will live
with eyes opened wide, and a heart
that never closes.  There is no where else to start
but here, I have no more time left to waste.
For the thousands of moments waiting,
I see you, and I will cherish you
as you've always deserved.  Forgive me,
please Forgive me, for every unappreciated
second, for every time I forgot
to thank you outloud.

What would you say to the moments waiting ahead?  To the ones left behind?  The mistake moments that you don't think you'll ever let yourself forget.  The moments where you felt shamed and insignificant, just plain unworthy? 

What about, "I'm sorry"? 

What about, "It's okay"? 

What about, "You're enough"? 

What if you got face-to-face with the memories of those moments when you told yourself you weren't good enough, and instead you said, "I know you were here to teach me something, and even if I still don't know what it was, I'm grateful for the wisdom now within me that will help me through the future."